How To Shower Like a WomanTake off clothes and place them
sectioned in laundrybasket according to lights and
darks.Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.If you
see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.Look
at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note
to do more sit-ups / leg-lifts, etc.Get in the shower.Use
face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah
and pumice stone.Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage
shampoo with 43 added vitamins.Wash your hair again to make
sure it's clean.Condition your hair with grapefruit mint
conditioner enhanced.Wash your face with crushed apricot
facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.Wash entire rest of
body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse
conditioner off hair.Shave armpits and legs.Turn off
shower.Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.Spray mold
spots with Tile cleaner.Get out of shower.Dry with towel
the size of a small country.Wrap hair in super absorbent
towel.Return to bedroom wearing lo ng dressing gown and
towel on head. If you see partner along the way, cover up
any exposed areas.
How To Shower Like a ManTake
off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave
them in a pile.Walk naked to the bathroom.If you see
partner along the way, shake willy at her making the
'woo-woo' sound.Look at your manly physique in the
mirror.Admire the size of your willy and scratch your
bum.Get in the shower.Wash your face.Wash your armpits.Blow
your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.Spend
majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the
soap.Wash your hair.Make a Shampoo MohicanWee.Rinse off and
get out of shower.Partially dry off.Fail to notice water on
floor because curtain was han ging out of bath the whole
time.Admire willy size in mirror again.Leave shower curtain
open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to bedroom
with towel around waist.If you pass partner, pull off towel
, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound
again.Throw wet towel on bed.
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